My father passed away two and a half weeks ago.
There’s more to say. So much more to say. But in an attempt to rejuvenate my #40daysofgoodshit practice, here’s Day 4.
My brother did an amazing job on my dad’s obituary. He asked me for editing assistance, most of which he didn’t need, but I’m honored to have been part and I did add a detail that felt important. My other brother and mother also contributed.
And then it occurred to me that it was drafted in Google Docs and posted on an obituary site that we don’t control or even know how long it will stay up. And I’m also doing a lot of thinking and feeling about self-archiving and digital hoarding and backups and “lots of copies keeps stuff safe“.
This website still lives on a server I don’t control, but at least I do have the keys. And so here it is. I’m achingly, desperately proud of both my brother’s writing and my father’s life.
Joseph Aloysius Murphy
September 2, 1938 – March 3, 2026
Joseph Aloysius Murphy, 87, of Rockville, Maryland, died peacefully on March 3, 2026, following a long illness.
He was born in Nanticoke, Pennsylvania, to Joseph and Sophia Murphy, and was raised in Ashley, PA.
A lifelong devout Catholic, Joe attended St. Leo’s high school in Ashley before studying chemical engineering at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C., making him the first member of his family to have ever attended college. It was here that he met his beloved Anne Reilly and began a love story for the ages.
It was also at Catholic University where Joe tried his hand at boxing. It was not a successful venture.
Despite this setback, Joe went on to an accomplished vocation as a nuclear engineer. He dedicated his entire career to working for the federal government at the Atomic Energy Commission (later known as the Nuclear Regulatory Commission). His employment frequently took him overseas, unlocking a lifelong passion for international travel. His career included frequent work in Taipei, Cologne, Frankfurt, and Paris; together with Anne, he also traveled to Ireland, England, Italy, and Russia, among many other destinations. Each trip aroused his lifelong curiosity, filling him with stories of amusing local customs, breathtaking museums, and, most of all, exotic local cuisine.
Travel was but one of Joe’s passions. He was a voracious reader, most often studying Irish history and reading Irish authors and poets, but also inhaling any spy novel in arm’s reach. He was a dedicated member of the Knights of Columbus, where he served as Grand Knight of the Rock Creek Council, and held numerous chairmanships for the Maryland State Council. He loved baseball; boxing; dogs; jazz, folk, and country music; photography; wine; Guinness; and restaurants, where he would often hold court in the company of his family.
He was a master storyteller who passed along his love of humor to his children. His stories might end in a pitched fit of laughter, or a cocked eyebrow for a more subtle ending. It was a true joy for his family to hear him laugh – a high pitched, oscillating howl that was in every way discordant with his steady, baritone voice.
At work, in the Knights of Columbus, and at home, Joe was known as a generous mentor. He recognized talent in others and offered time, space, and advice to help it grow.
He is survived by his wife of 56 years, Anne; his “three turkeys,” Joseph (Alison), Thomas (Jennifer), and Kevin (Colleen); and his nine grandchildren: Molly, Bridget, Lilly, Jude, Jack, Katie, Fiona, Calvin, and Lina. He is preceded in death by his parents and six of the most loyal and charming Irish Wolfhounds God ever gifted to mankind: Finbarr, Aulin, Shannon, Jupiter, Siobahn, and Rebel. He was steadfastly devoted to them all, even the humans.
Joe died surrounded by family who were alternately singing, praying, and sharing their memories in his final hours. He slipped away while they were distracted and laughing at old family stories, making his a true Irish Goodbye.
A public wake will take place on Sunday, March 8, from noon to 4:00 PM at Devol Funeral Home, 10 E Deer Park Dr, Gaithersburg, MD. A full funeral mass will be on Monday, March 9 at 10:00 AM, at St. Mary’s Church, 520 Viers Mill Rd, Rockville, MD, where he had been a faithful parishioner for 56 years.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Rock Creek Knights of Columbus or to the Catholic University School of Engineering.
